???

Don't know what I'm supposed to feel right now.. I'm just letting the words sink in I guess.. Hmm, its weird.. I guess its true that everyone's impatient.. They want immediate results in school, in their family.. Blah blah blah.. But I don't know.. I just don't agree with something I guess? Yea, its a choice I gotta make, albeit a hard one.. Honestly though, I can't imagine eternal life in heaven yet.. I need more time to think.. Wei Le said that I'm already quite good, 3 month old Christian and I've already tried asking people to church.. And attending church regularly.. But its weird to me? Its weird how everyone seems on fire for Christ and I'm not? Maybe I'm just thinking inferiorly again.. I dont know..

God told me that I should stop comparing myself to others.. That I should believe in myself more.. But I dont know.. I hate this feeling of insecurity. And inferiority complex.. I guess I'm more confident than I was a few months ago, I should be proud of that Lol.. But I dont know.. I dont wanna think about it anymore.. Praying to be more secure I guess, heck sometimes I dont even know how to feel secure unless I'm in church or something..

Time to pray for myself I guess, too focused on praying for others that I've neglected myself..

Week 15. Chapter Closed.

The end of week 15. Next week, the last week for this semester excluding exams.. Whoa.. Time really flies.. Still feels like we're midway through semester 1.. O.O Ahh well, I guess I can't help it.. T04's too awesome, and when you're having fun time flies.. Haha..

Anyway, its friday.. Hell yea, the end of a rather slack week i guess? Haha when was the last time school felt so relaxed? We're probably gonna die next week though.. Hmmmm.... 3 assignments are due.. Especially the psychology project... That's a big killer.. Ahh well, no use worrying about it, we'll do well for it! I'm sure of it! We must have faith in God that He'll see us through these challenges after all =D

Anyway, only had S and W today.. LOL we're ending soon.. Last lesson next week.. Hmmm... Strange.. 15 weeks in and I didnt really made any new friends in S and W.. This is the only module so far where I'm as silent as the night.. Odd eh? Maybe I'm too used with T04, I always feel demoralised on fridays actually.. Hmmm... Anyway, had a temporary coach today.. I think the previous one was better, less strict and more funny. Haha anyway, we just had lots and lots of exercises.. HELL.. My muscles ache.. Haha, had some lecture on nutrition as well.. Apparently you should eat good foods for breakfast, eat until you're full for lunch and eat little for dinner.. How interesting, to say the least.. LOL

Anyway, proceeded to help Yijun and Andre with their ITABS thing.. Lol I still don't believe I'm actually helping people with IT.. Haha I don't think I'm good at it.. Oh well, managed to solve some problems that they encountered I guess.. Not bad, finished my draft at around 8 as well.. Hope it was good, I don't wanna redo the stupid thing =.=

Haha, shared a lot today, and people shared a lot with me today.. Hmmm.. Don't worry, your secrets are safe with me HAHA.. Weird though.. I only told 1 person about that dream.. I dont know if I want that dream to happen.. It feels weird.. Oh well, I'll let God decide my destiny for me, no need to worry! Seek first his kingdom, and then everything will fall into place =D

(Hoping I didn't fall for anyone w/o knowing it... That'd kinda be annoying =.=)

28/7 1st CG meeting!!

Hell, past few days were severely uneventful LOL..

Anyway, badminton.. Man, only 7 people turned up today.. Haha a few were in the gym so I can't really blame them.. Hmm... Hope everyone had fun.. Haha, feels weird having badminton when there's not lesson in the morning.. O.o and then... ITABS.... My goodness... 50% done by Friday? That sounds tough.. Ahh well, it could have been worse, handing it up on Thursday would probably kill us more.. Lol, gonna pray that I would do this and not procrastinate.. It is ITABS after all..

Off to CG next.. Ok, I admit, I was rather hesitant to go since it was my 1st time there..+ it is kinda awkward if you're the only guy that went eh? Haha, thankfully chen fei was there also, lucky I wasn't the only one there.. O.o Anyway, it was fun.. Haha I didn't know it was Kareen's 1st time too.. Strange.. We're all busier than i thought...

Great praching by Wei Ling today.. Haha I have to admit, I'm too bloody insecure.. That's why I don't share experiences with others.. Esp when Li Ping wanted me to share.. Haha I dont know.. Issit due to me feeling too inferior? Or something else? I dont know.. Must change soon! Step out of my comfort zone! Must have the leap of faith as well.. Haha I should pray for that eh? Lol,,

Back to work.. Psych and ITABS will be difficult to deal with.. Esp since Andre kinda relinquished all roles of being leader of the group.. And only me and JiaQian seem to be ok leading the group.. Problem is that she has a lot of commitments.. So its up to me.. Hmm... Stepping out of the comfort zone to be some sort of leader.. This is actually quite interesting.. Except for juggling everyone's free time in doing the project.. Hm, its time to lead then! The fate of the world rests on it! Or maybe not.. HAHA XD

Spent a while doing my ITABS stuff though.. Probably finishing the flash banner before heading off to bed.. Good luck all that visit my blog and need to do ITABS!

Past Revisited

Started my day in the afternoon lol, somehow managed to get 11 hours of sleep.. Hmm, when the hell was the last time that happened? So anyway, my dad's back from China, he got me a watch but no Liverpool jersey...... Oh well, I'll get it somehow I guess XD

SO anyway, afternoon was boring as well, zzzz boring day is boring.. Until I went for soccer, hell when was the last time I played soccer? Though it was only for 1 hour.. Haha enjoyed myself though, ran around like a retard with alex, that was a great assist I made though, good pass and qually good finish by alex.. Scored a goal as well XD And missed 2 good chances.. Oh well, I need more practice..

Why did I only play for 1 hour? That was due to me having to go to a play @ Woodlands CC.. Went there with Yee Wei, her siblings, Kang Ling, Kimberly, Chelsia and Andre.. That was an absolutely incredible play I have to admit.. It really shocked me as to how real that was for me.. Story's kinda similar to my thoughts when I was in sec 3 and 4.. I'm glad I've gotten over those feelings already.. The play made me tear like mad though, haha last time i teared that badly was 21 June? That weird 1am break down i had.. Hmmm.. Really realized how much I've changed in just this year alone.. Thanks to HOGC and God for making me realize the importance of my family and how fortunate I am to have them..

Went home after that though, had a chat with Chelsia bout O levels.. Lol seriously revisited my past like mad today.. Hmm, I wonder if its a sign of God, since this time, I am quite happy about it.. Stuff like these really makes me treasure my life more! Hope everyone else had a great time there, I know I did

IJC + 24/7/10

The finale to IJ, Jumpstart challenge.. Haha had fun with that, I'm kinda sad that T82 would never meet again probably.. Lol I love the class, twas awesome, esp since I was the noisiest there? Haha

Anyway, back to IJC, it went well, we kinda had problems along the way with it in the middle.. Lol, we came up with too many great ideas after we decided on the solution beforehand so it was very hectic.. We even changed our root cause midway through the challenge.. Haha it still went ok, our model wasn't that good but I felt that it conveyed our idea well.. E Lin said that our content was good, an A, but creativity + originality would cost us since our marketing ideas were too common.. Sad, probably getting a B but its still all right XD

On to events on 24/7.. 1st was the comm service we had for Magic Club Lol.. Even though this was the 1st time I went there, (had other commitments on the 2 other days), it still ended up quite well, Hahaha, only 5 of us went though >.> But whatever, we had fun, even though we spent a while getting to someplace where i could have reached through 2? bus stops.. LOL spent 1 hour at KFC cos they had announcements though.. Haha anyway, went in and talked to the kids for a while.. Haha i dont even think we made bookmarks XD Feels like an eternity since I talked to kids.. They're so hyper! Haha enjoyed making a fool our of myself in front of kids though, they won't really judge me XD

Went back home with Andre and tried to do the extra credits.. It was a failure.. Stupid instructions made no sense at all =.= Can't Samantha Choo give us something that makes sense for once? Went to church after that though, never did tell anyone that I had my old illness acting up (the sudden pricking of the lungs).

Had fun, Pastor How talked about Regent Business School; his motives for opening it and the intended audience really captivated me.. Somehow people aren't afforded a second chance in education in Singapore.. RBS would offer second chances to those that did poorly in A or O levels and that was inspiring.. Why the heck do people think that if you run a business after you start a church or charity is wrong? zzzzzzz

Anyway, FINALLY hang out with CG after service.. Man, it feels like forever since we did that.. Oh well, I had fun.. Rey had to go off earlier though.. Her sms was kinda true though.. Everyone seems to have shared more this time.. Hmm, maybe cutting B1 into various smaller groups was for the best after all.. Cant wait for CG this weds? Hope I can make it.. I need to get the psych crap done 1st though.. Haha I'm sure my group can do it!!

Well that's all for this rather hectic week.. LOL feels like forever sia.. Haha so its time to close this chapter

Week 14, Chapter Closed.

22 July, Angry or not?

Yea, kinda epic.. Stuttered like crap during presentation.. I only hope that nobody noticed. (probably everyone did) HahI'm not sure if we really did do well according that what the teacher said actually, it just seems like a lie. Haha or is that conspiracy theory? XD

Ahh well, done with essay, done with editing, looks like I can look forward to Jumpstart day tomorrow + all the events i can do during the weekends.. Lol, feels like forever since I stayed in church until after dinner.. Nothing much is left for us I think.. Psych crap... And ITABS... AW COME ON... Its like a whole chunk of bullcrap dumped on us... Dreamweaver is annoying as usual... Sian.. Oh well, there's nothing much we can do anyway, we did bring up ITABS during the director's dialogue after all

Anyway, don't know.. Was i unhappy today? Andre said I was shouting at everybody in the day during ITABS.. I didn't think so.. *shrugs* Or maybe he's just stressed, heck, we all are.. He's still not done with his essay and its 7.40 already.. Hmmm, finished my editing roughly 20 mins ago only.. E learning for Writ Comm is annoying.. Ahh well, nothing much left.. Hope he'll be all right tomorrow or something.. Haha

Jumpstart Day, 23rd July 2010 = Chapter Close for Week 14

Week 14 (Mid Way)

Hell, its been a tough week, psych presentation on monday and a rather epic final essay to do.. Haha glad i woke up at 4am to do the stupid essay, otherwise need to rush.. Didnt really wanted to give my partner a hard time editing my essay.. Hahahah freaking tired though.. I almost fell asleep on the bus and train.. Almost fell on a stranger's lap on the train.. That. Was. Weird. LOL

Anyway, we're halfway through this tough week, so many things happened today.. Angel/Mortal's finally done.. Kinda figured that Jianhe was my angel though.. He's the only one that.. Well ya know.. Haha he joined us for badminton though.. Thankfully.. Hell, I wonder why he likes to distance himself from the class so much.. Hmmmm... Played my heart out today, hence my extreme fatigue now..

Then there was the director's dialogue thing.. LOL that was kinda interesting, everyone kept bombing ITABS and writ comm.. Funny sia.. Haha then went to the attic to find Andre... And Mandy.. Lol, they were still rushing through essays.. Should have sat with Andre but sat with Mandy though.. Ex-Primary school mates i guess.. Haha learnt more about her though, heck i wanna learn more about everybody.. Hate it when i cant help anybody with their work/life though.. I hate this feeling, probably came to PCS to eradicate these feelings, they keep coming back to haunt me though.. Makes me feel helpless at times >.>

Eventful day ends with this post.. Lol, its community service presentation tmr.. Hope I'm ready, I dont wanna stutter too much again.. I hate presentations.. LOL

Church + Psych Prep

Sian, still quite tired.. But I'm sure I'll be fine after church XD

Indeed, met up with Rey Lyn on the mrt before heading off to church, heard her talk about encouraging people and that the tongue shapes our future.. Those are the few words I still remember.. Haha encouraging just comes naturally to me i guess, that's probably why I decided to enter PCS anyway, maybe I'll try it later when we're doing the project..

Service today was kinda interesting.. What Pastor Dr Shearer said was indeed amazing.. He preached on how we, even by being saved once, would tend to be affected by old temptations and not new ones.. This was probably the biggest truth I've ever learnt.. Haha He also said how the Holy Spirit is supposed to guide us into becoming more like Christ instead of Adam.. The most important thing for me however, is the fact that you can have a second cleansing by Jesus to rid yourself of all the past sins.. How amazing is that? And then right after service I had a talk with Wei Le, who was the one that told me how to defeat procrastination : Just do it. How simple can that be? Lol..

So after that, it was project time.. Me and Andre started on it 1st with Jia Qian joining us later.. Apparently he wanted to do a survey which I didn't want to do due to me not thinking that it was a plausible idea.. Blah blah blah, then Jia Qian came and threw out her list of ideas which kinda surprised me. Haha we managed to do probably 70% of the presentation though.. Thankfully.. LOL we better complete it tomorrow.. And sort out the slides.. WE seem to only have 6 slides I think.. Wow. We're gonna do it, I'm sure of it!

17th July

Started own blog today. Lol, I'd never do this back in secondary school. Then again, many things have changed. It feels like years since I've been back in CTSS. I miss them all, the teacher sand my friends. Unfortunately, life goes on, we're all in tertiary institutes now.. Hope everybody's doing fine.

Anyway... Back to today then.. Told Andre that I'd be doing a blog soon. Honestly I didn't think I'd do one.. Just like half the things I say but end up not doing.. Like my new year's resolution to be more hardworking..

Ahh well, back to the day then.. We were going to collect denims for World Vision Centre. HAHA, I still can't remember the name of that organisation, hope I spelt it right XD Well, we somehow managed to collect 187 pairs for the challenge, 62 pairs more than our target.. Good job everyone! LOL I definitely had fun running about and asking for jeans donations.. Block 323 was the best, 1st two homes gave us a few jeans, with Sherlynn finding an ang moh and being super happy about it XD Lots of things happened during the challenge though.. We got to know more about our seniors and classmates.. Ahh the beauty of grouping up.. Haha really found out a lot.. Someone's claustrophobia, something that I never expected I guess.. Finally we saw Jianhe enjoying himself, he was laughing for quite a while the entire time.. I hope he feels part of T04, for some reason I keep sensing a barrier that he has from the class or something.. Didn't really talk to the seniors though.. Still can't be friendly immediately for some reason =/ Oh ya, found a 500 ml ice cream soda bottle as well today.. Man, those things are as rare as rare can be if not rarer..

After that we went for lunch, Me and Andre went with Jayne, Li Ting, Kang Ling and Denise.. Haha that was quite an interesting lunch.. Jayne and Li Ting eating up so much food it almost felt like a buffet for them XD Invited them to the weekly badminton thing as well, responses seem to be quite good, that of course, since its T04 after all.. Man I really love my class this time.. Found out that Kang Ling can eat a lot as well.. Haha I still ate the fastest though.. Somehow I can eat everything really quick except for desserts.. Hmmmmm... That's interesting i guess.. LOL

Back to school after that, stupid library closing at 5 instead of 5.30.. Went into the library for 5 mins then heard the stupid library closing soon.. Ahh well, didn't really do much for the psych presentation.. Man I'm really scared that we'll be unable to finish it tomorrow.. Played Warcraft after that, still as crap as ever i guess.. Haha

Somehow my parents wanted to eat when I was done.. Finally we ate out together in like forever I think.. Can't remember the last time we ate out. Found out my father was going to China again tomorrow.. Heck, I don't know much about my family nowadays.. Too much work to do.. Psych courses are severely busy.. Had a good talk with them, they're still disapprving for me being a Christian though.. Not sure how I'm going to be able to tell them that.. Oh ya, we ate at Eighteenchefs.. Haha that place is awesome, its always great to see ex-offenders given a second chance.. I mean, everyone deserves it right?

Tired as crap today, hope I'll be less tired tomorrow.. Haha going to church and then doing psych presentation.. Hmm.. How on Earth are we going to finish it in 4 hours...